Basically, I’m not into extrovert lifestyle. It makes me cringe. I have no interest in engaging in activities like jumping, laughing and fooling around in deafening noisy areas. I don’t get it. How can the commonwealth just shout and run into conclusions of festivals of stupid and arduous merrymaking without even considering how annoying it is? I have never been able to understand why people are so excited about such events. I can never make any happy memories in gatherings and I have always met boredom and some sort of irritation.
It has always been this way. Although, it used to be harder. I met Dean two years ago. I wouldn’t say that we are exactly the same kind of people. But, we definitely hate partying. We have been to several occasions which demanded dancing to ridiculous music and having fun with other people. But, we always ended up sitting somewhere far from the crowd and bitch about people and discuss things that hardly had much relevance to our lives. It has been an entertaining endeavor since then. I enjoy parties and not because I party there. I enjoy parties because Dean is there for me, and we spend our time being worthless like the others, but in a different manner.
I can’t dance. Dean and I have been to two school excursions together. Honestly speaking, we don’t know why we signed up for it. I knew everyone was going to have fun dancing, clicking selfies and screaming about everything that they found a little bit more amusing than normal. We went anyway and I want to tell you that we enjoyed our time there. Apparently, we danced. It was fun. I looked into his eyes and we just jumped into the maddening crowd. We don’t have the moves or the style, but we just raised our hands and lost it. I closed my eyes and dived and when I opened my eyes I was at the other end of the crowd. I wouldn’t say it was a fantastic experience (because of all the dust we had been kicking around while dancing) but I do think that having a companion to try out all sorts of crazy stuff has been a lot of help.
I stick to my statement though. I do not enjoy parties and I probably never will. I do not have many friends and I’m not famous at all. I am very insecure about myself and it has been an ick factor all along. It’s amusing though. I see people grooving and shaking their butts to the music and other people joining them. There is so much enthusiasm in their eyes but I never felt that urge to just let loose of myself. I do not regret it. Hell, one of the main reasons I attend parties is just for the sake of free food.
I hate it so much when people come to me in a party and drag me to the dance floor. I do not have the moves but I do it anyway, until I’m not mocked at. I wait for the food to be served and I do not like it when it’s late. I do not like it when people push me for group pictures, in fact I’m not photogenic at all. I know that I sound clumsy and I do not sound like a fun guy at all but given that I have friend like Dean, I am ready to do all this stuff and still wait for the food to be ready (although this has a limit too). He makes it easier to deal with because I don’t feel out of place anymore. I know, there is someone else dealing with the same shit as me.
What would I prefer to partying?
Easy. I love reading. I would rather finish a good book, go through a million blogs and even rearrange my library than sacrifice my soul at a party. I also like sitting alone in fresh air and not worrying about my life. However, I have found out a new place recently. It’s a bake shop close to the school we used to study in. I just love the sandwiches there. I usually go with Dean there.
I am not bothered by the idea of a party. I think it’s a personal choice but I just find it boring. Maybe I am boring or maybe I do not know how to have fun or create chaos together. Maybe I do not have any idea how this system works and maybe I am too busy handling my own life that I have stopped seeing how much fun other things can be but I am happy the way things are and I do not want to change myself. I think it’s perfectly fine to not try new things and being scared of changes that might occur. Partying is definitely not my forte.
Anyway, I am just rambling. It’s my second blog post today. It’s laidback I know but thank you for going through anyway.