Are you short? Are you fat? Do you have a body image that others make fun of?
Then you are just like me.
Well, not exactly. I type this blog because I have been thinking about it for a while. And it occurs to me that body shaming is something we do subconsciously and there might be times when we have no idea who we might have offended. I have friends, alright. My social circle is very small and that is probably because I say offensive things to a lot of people and the worst thing is I realize it only after they stop talking to me. I body shame a lot of people too and I have hurt people quite a few times. I’m not proud of it and I regret losing those people because once their fat stomachs was my very own hand pillow. (Sorry)
I myself, am 5’4’’ and 63 kg. I am overweight, yes. I might not appear so but my roommate knows what lies within my t-shirt and let’s just say that it’s not admirable to look at the protrusion which I call my tummy. Also, I’m short and I have thin arms and at times my dates have made fun of that. So, yes I’m not exactly proud of my body and I’m tired of being the weak, measly and malnutritioned guy. To be frank, I have suffered quite a lot because of the really disapproving body structure. I have been selected at the very last, as extras in sports teams; I had to tuck in a lot of shirts and deflate myself just so the pants fit. I have never won a hand wrestling match (not that it matters and definitely I don’t care). If I were the last guy in the world and we needed to continue the human race, the girl would definitely pass and let humanity end for greater good.
But it really bothers me you know when my pot belly is kind of an awkward elevation in my body posture. Also, when people stare at it or make jokes on it. It isn’t the joke that offends me, really. But it is the fact that the joke is actually funny that offends me. Because, I can’t stop laughing at it but then I am laughing at myself and may be that makes others conclude that it’s okay to make fun of me. Seriously guys, stop it.
There was this fat guy in the sixth grade who would actually grab my thin elbows and pretend it’s a bat and he would swing me back and forth while hitting sharpeners with it. My father complained to the class teacher (because I didn’t like to face any teacher) and she talked to the guy and he never bothered me again but she also recommended my parents to consult a doctor and make me gain some weight. It just doesn’t make sense because the way I see it I just got bullied by a fatass and it doesn’t matter as much as my arms do.
Recently, I saw mannequins at a mall with a pot belly. The point being, they wanted to depict the average Indian male body (I guess). I don’t see how it is supposed to make me feel better about myself. Personally, it seemed more like a mockery to me. May be I’m blind to something good but I just don’t see it. I took Physical Education as a subject in my class 12 board exams and I shit you not, it mentioned that the perfect body shape for women is 36” 24” 36” and for men, ‘V-shaped’. I don’t know what you make of it but I think it’s seriously creepy and intimidating. How can you do this? You are openly setting up a benchmark for all.
Look, everyone is different. Some are short, some are tall. I get it. If Sultan Kosen calls The Khalli short, I can digest it. Some people are born differently, with a blind eye, with bent postures. Some attain deformities and some might have a face you do not like (it’s totally okay if it’s Salman). But you cannot judge them because of that. I know people who have been mocked all their lives for some oddities and imperfections and they have the brightest minds, I bet. I genuinely enjoy their company. But, I cannot think of making fun of their body because first of all, it’s lame. Secondly, every time we make such a cruel joke on someone, we forget about our own imperfections. It might sound shallow but it is the truth and we all know it.
So what am I proposing? First of all, if you can’t deal with your mouth then shoot yourself. It will be better than hurting somebody. If you said it anyway, fucking apologize. It matters and works. But mean it and own the words that you said. Secondly, do not discriminate. Accept everyone. Even if it’s the fat guy at the end of the cafeteria, talk to him. He did nothing wrong to have no friends. Just go up to them and start a conversation, it’s easier than choosing a stupid pick up line for a girl. Also, no mimicking or acting, you do not go through the crap they do every single day.
And if you are the person who accepts all, thank you. The world needs people like you.